she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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