Will you blow on my dice?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
