last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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