So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
