At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
