Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize