my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
