I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
