So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
