She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
