and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We need to get me chipped asap
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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