Three words: puerto rican gang bang
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
