Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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