Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
