I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
