i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
