I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
