It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
