He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
