you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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