Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
