pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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