just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
pray to the hookup gods
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
