guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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