Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
