she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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