They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
