Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
