So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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