I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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