man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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