Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize