I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Holy shit dude........stairs
jump out the window naked night went bad
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
