yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
