I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
