and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
