Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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