He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
