I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
