It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
