It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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