Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
