If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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