Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

too bad you live with your parents still

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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(518): View more from New York

I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Someone in a vagina costume on campus.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

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(630): View more from Illinois

He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something

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(352): View more from Florida

"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.

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