Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
