i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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