every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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