well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
