I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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