brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
