he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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