if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
