I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
