Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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