I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize