the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
