He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
