Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
