C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
