i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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