Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
