R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
