im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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