I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
