He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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