No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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