Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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