well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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