Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
