: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
