First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ok first of all what the fuck
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
