We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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