I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
