He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
