Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
